one last time

the first missionary of many for me leaves next week.
and im missing the best talk of his life.
so i decided to take him out for his favorite food- sushi.


its just plain weird to think you wont see your best friends for two whole years.


it was super nostalgic. like the most nostalgic ive ever been in my entire life.
we talked about jokes we made up in tenth grade
lagoon day
physics class
lunches spent outside
wendys trips
and nights spent at the park.

we went to the park.
laid down on the grass.
and talked more.
i just had to look at him. is that weird to say? i just want to imprint his image on my mind- so i dont forget.

i hate forgetting
like forgetting your password you use everything for, i panic.
because even though the human mind cant remember everything, i want to remember it all.
the way he smells
how he pushes his glasses up his nose
that smirk when hes totally teasing you and you dont know it

and by remembering its like you never lost them.
theyre still here in youre heart
on youre mind

i always loved those return visits with tight hugs and warm smiles
as if saying
i never forgot you either.
 

summer nights

 

i wish i was margo from paper towns
and stargirl from stargirl.
i wish i could drive to new york just for fun.
talk until 3am on the phone
read an entire book in a day
and still have time to eat ihop before sunrise.
summertime makes me want to run in my bare feet and tank tops
summer wants me to cut my hair short.
she wants me to live loosely and act wild.

i want to fall in love with someone for a day
and listen to him play "photograph" on the guitar
and we'd take a photograph just to remember the day i fell in love for a day

im a free spirited thinker but a nervous speaker.

i wear watches but never check them for the time.
i write to do lists but never cross off number 10
i turn on "night changes" but never cry while listening to it.

i went to the park today with my two siblings. i watched them play on the park while i sat with my notebook and pen. turned on some music. i tried writing my list but i didnt finish it. i watched them play instead.