lets get real

i am too emotional about everything.

like freak i cried about zayn leaving one direction.

i cried when my two best friends decided to date in october
i cried when my mom told me to grow up
i cried when i told my mom happy mothers day at church.
i cry when i read after.
i cried when ed starting singing photograph and i realized this day will become one
i cried after i finished my last choir concert.
and if i havent cried yet im probably on the verge of tears.

i scream when im about to cry.
i screamed when i found out that terik gagon commited suicide
i screamed into my pillow when he didnt reply to my confession of i " like like " you.
i scream inside when i think about how i wont see him there in july.

but i laugh to cover up my screams.
i laughed when they called me fat.
i laugh during slow dances when it gets awkward
i laughed at him because he said my laugh was adorable and i didnt believe him
i laugh when i hear stupid jokes just so they dont feel bad
i laughed when he said your blog is amazing

i laugh so much i swear ill live a thousand years
but living that long would be torture for what i feel.

"it is a curse and a blessing to feel everything so deeply"

megs