how?

note: this is my original writing, but it was first published by The Odyssey Online on Monday, May 2nd, 2016. read the original post here. 

my freshman year of college is over in five finals days. and im currently bawling my eyes out.

graduating high school is one thing but finishing a year at college is another.
at least youve got the summer before they leave but i only have days.
how can you tell someone you love them in five days?

how do you tell someone you love them in five days?
do you just kiss the lips off their face? or squeeze their hand a few extra times?
should i go on a date with him and just throw the words up in his face?
what about watching a few more episodes of the office because its his favorite?
how do i tell him?? because i have less than 120 hours with this stupid boy that i cannot forget and if i dont tell him now he will forget and you know how i hate forgetting.

he's like the bee that buzzes constantly around your ears and in my mind and he never shuts up yet i love it.
or the annoying sound of your alarm clock in the morning but somehow its comforting to hear because he's become a routine.

he stayed an hour past curfew one night and i swear we were gonna get caught because his laugh is so loud and contagious that it carried all the way out the door and down the hall.
we planned to watch a movie but somehow we ended up finding a stupid video about twilight. two hours later we were watching comedy vines via twitter.

he told me his girlfriend got mad that he was at my house once and i was beaming on the inside.
ive never been the one that makes the other girls jealous

he tells me he hates it here and every time i die a little, because he's happier in california, without me
and he's happier with his girlfriend, even though they fight every week

im not saying this is a "you belong with me" moment, but he doesn't fight with me
and he smiles more when hes with me
and he tells me im his only friend and i cant help but cry because who wouldn't want to be friends with the guy ive slowly fallen for?

how do i tell him i love him, even though he doesn't love me?