Friday, October 26, 2018

I got declined!

Dear Tessa, 

Thank you for thinking of A Public Space with your submission, which we read closely. While we weren't able to find a home for it in the magazine, we very much appreciate the opportunity to consider it and wish you all good things with your writing. 

With gratitude, 
A Public Space

(the first of many. bring it on)

Tuesday, August 28, 2018


i hate feeling like this. this gnawing feeling
it always gets me and i dont know why i let it
but i do.

i decided to walk. somewhere, anywhere instead of just staying here.
the cold numbed my arms and it worked.
but just for a bit. because it always comes back.
it always comes back and i dont know why i let it
but i do.

i hate feeling alone.

being outside worked. but only for a bit because it always comes back, this feeling.
you'd think that this feeling of being by yourself would lessen
but the cold only numbs for a bit. the feeling doesnt feel anymore
it always comes back and i hate it.

Saturday, August 25, 2018

to my older brother

i knew you wanted me to be at that fireside yesterday, because i felt you there.
youve heard this from me too many times but i dont think ill ever stop saying im sorry
i dont know how to forgive myself for a mistake thats hasnt been fixed for years
but somehow you do
that is miraculous to me

the speaker said "the atonement works in relationships"
and ive never felt more connected to you than right then
becuase you performed this gift, those actions have helped our relationship stay strong
ive been the idiot who keeps breaking up with you and then i come crying back a week later, saying im sorry and that ill never do it again

how do you have that kind of trust?
im amazed at the trust you have for people, and for me

you have the patience i dont have

Saturday, August 4, 2018

flicker. niall horan

im so giddy its unreal
its been three years since i last saw you but today is the day that number turns zero
its like im on the edge of something amazing
my stomach wants to throw up but also eat everything in sight
my hands never sweat but they are today
i want time to speed up but also slow wayyy down
i dont want today to end

i told myself i wouldn't cry but i did
you sound amazingly happy and im so glad you are
the story behind the song made my heart flutter
my sister and i held each other the entire time
she was swooning as much as i was
i knew she would
i just wanted you to talk to me the entire time
three years may have kept us apart, but im so glad our paths crossed again
unil i see you again mi amor <3

Tuesday, July 31, 2018


he never sleeps i swear
and i wish i could do that
i wish i could talk to the stars all night like he does

i told him 'straight into your arms' reminded me of him
last night we went to the music store and he sang it to me 
do 'just friends' do those kinds of things? im not sure
he sings in the car like i do 
i probably ask him way too many questions but i just wanna know whats going on inside that head of his 
he just invited me to see him at 11:20pm and i told him i was writing right now.....but why do i feel bad for saying no??

Wednesday, July 18, 2018

another poem about a boy

he is way too nice
like honestly he is
we work together every day and im sure he's tired of seeing my face
I know I am.....well actually i don't know yet
you've heard of the five love languages before right?
service and quality time. those are my top two.
so when you spend the entire day with the same person and he offers to help you with everything I can't quite help but think that its possible to fall for this guy
even if he's just trying to be nice and wants to help me sweep the step

but a voice in my head is so against it
I can't even look at him half the time because I know if I do then something will happen
and I don't want anything to happen
I know in reality looks aren't supposed to matter but
they do to a degree right?

Saturday, June 16, 2018

its about him again

I can't even remember why I was mad at him
when I saw him all my angry thoughts disappeared
it had been so long since I saw him
we laughed the entire time
it was a fabulous feeling
I looked at him and I remembered him
his personality was shining
and I loved it

a few days ago I messaged him
he didn't respond until 24hrs later
I thought he had changed...